Pinay Mom on Motherhood, Etc.

Even before I became a mother, I was already a memory junkie.  I’m the type of person who would grab the littlest of souvenir to remember an event or a place I visited.  I’d carefully sneak away a paper  napkin from a restaurant, get a match book, collect tourist literature, and even though I have yet to do something with it, I still collect the ticket stubs of the movies Alan and I watch.

So it isn’t surprising that when Angel came into my life, I collected everything from the ultrasound pictures to his band aids every time he gets vaccinated.  (I have them all save for one or two which came off in his struggle as he protested against that stabbing pain in his thighs..)  I have a million pictures of him — well, not really a million but over a thousand definitely — and though I have a scrapbook ready, I have yet to put everything together there.

I want to save the cute outfits he has had, some of which were hardly ever worn.  They have such beautiful designs and I feel like wanting to cut off the patchwork to put into his scrapbook or memory box.  But I keep reminding myself those outfits would serve another baby well — perhaps my brother’s son who is due to be born sometime August.  So instead of stashing everything away, I have selected a few pieces to keep, and the others, we will give away to other babies who can make use of them.  (My nephew will have no use for the winter wear in the always so hot climate of Manila..)

Since Angel arrived, Alan and I continue to write him a postcard from wherever we went, telling him how we miss him like we did when we were in Paris, or how we enjoyed going around Sesame Place in Pennsylvania like we did this May.  I want him to see those pictures, postcards and thoughts when he is older so he can realize how much we truly loved him. 

I have slowed down with the picture taking but I’m making up for the slack in the coming weeks.  His face continues to evolve and people are beginning to tell me he is starting to look more and more like me.  I still find it a bigger compliment to be told that he looks so much like Alan.. the mini me of his Dad.

I often wonder how it would’ve been if we were in Manila instead of here in New York and I had a yaya to help care for Angel.  I wouldn’t be washing and sterilizing his bottles, washing his wash cloths (his bimpo) and cloth wipes (bird’s eye cloth that we are using as an all-purpose napkin), worrying about him taking his meals or milk or fruit juice, etc.  I’d still be preparing his meals, I know, but I wouldn’t be so hands on.

I’d probably ask the yaya how the baby’s day was, and then I wouldn’t have to personally care for Angel the minute I stepped into the house like I do now.  When I think about doing things differently as we would’ve done in Manila, I really wouldn’t like that now that I’ve had the chance to take care of him firsthand.  There is nothing that compares to the closeness I feel I share with him as he cuddles closer when we sleep, or how when he breaks away and he would put a leg over my tummy or reach out with a hand touching me.  (So like his Dad who does this he says so that “we can be together in the dream world” and he swears that he dreams with me in his dream, too.)

The only thing that makes me pine for the convenience of having a nanny is juggling my work schedule and having Angel at home.  I dread the thought of putting him in daycare, and my sister’s health is deteriorating because of some stomach flu or other.  We’re scrambling with childcare issues again.  *sigh*

Mom can’t say when she’s coming back to the US so right now, we’re all hanging on a limb.  *Sigh*  I was trying to talk to Angel as he was blabbing to me while we were playing in bed last night and I was asking him what we should do.  While we didn’t arrive at a solution, we had fun before sleeping. =)  We were up before 6:30 and I fed him breakfast in his playpen. 

Caring for a child here in the US is very complicated — it means having the heart to let go and leave your child in the care of strangers.  While it can be said that it fosters independence, it is no less heart wrenching despite the supposed perks.  As we would say back home, nakakaloka. 

True, we have all the latest in terms of technology.  They can educate you to death on the pros and cons of every little bit of child-related item or practice, sometimes you end up seeing the choices in the extremes. 

A case in point is the use of baby powder.  While this is a staple back home — heavily advertised as a necessity to keep the baby from getting diaper rash, one of the first few admonitions from my pediatrician right after giving birth at the NYU TISCH MEDICAL CENTER was NOT to use baby powder.  As an asthmatic, I understood that.  My mom, however, was taken aback.  So we slather the baby’s behind with tons of petroleum jelly instead. 

She was also rather surprised that we didn’t need to bathe the baby every day and that we moisturized with lotion liberally.  (Of course now that it’s summer and it gets to be hot, I bathe Angel every day even just for a quick splash.. when I cannot, I give him a sponge bath from head to foot.)

Motherhood, New York Style, is a far cry from how motherhood would have been for me in Manila.  But there are a hundred and one reasons why I wouldn’t have Angel anywhere else.  Where else can we ride the bus and head for a museum biggie like the Metropolitan Museum of Art?  Where else can we take a long drive to a place where Ernie, Bert & Elmo can rub his cheeks and make him dance in utter delight?  Where else can I take a pick from all these baby food concoctions, fancy veggie snacks and health juices?

My boy has taken over my whole world, and I would’ve have it any other way.

 

 

Just so proud of my baby!

I got a response from site support which says:

Dear Pinay,

Bandwidth exceeded doesn’t mean you’re using too much space. Please
don’t delete anything. Here’s a quick explanation.

In any blog, whether it is free or not, you have a space limit as well
as a bandwidth limit. Space limit refers to the number of posts and
images you have. Bandwidth refers to the number of visitors you can
have. The more visitors you have the more bandwidth they use up.
Moreover, the richer your content, the more bandwidth a single user
will
need.

Image your blog front page has a 240k image and a 10k text. Each time a
user will access your blog, it will use up 250k bandwidth. You have a
250M bandwidth limit, ie a 1000 visit limit.

Your blog will be reactivated July 1st as bandwidth is monthly. In the
meantime, try to keep your content as light as possible to have more
visitors access your blog.

Regards,
The Blog Hiker

Got it!  So I guess I’ll be back up by Friday..

Written while on the Q27 — (Yes, I’ve shifted from riding the Q88-R Train in favor the seemingly more convenient and faster Q27 Limited-7 Train to get to work)

I don’t remember how but I somehow stumbled onto the Pinoy Bloggers Directory.  (Yes, there is one!)  I registered, submitted my blog URL and even created a blog banner for the free random blog adveritising offered to members.  (Didn’t do an animated one, though.. didn’t have the time.)

I checked on a few of the toprated blogs listed and I found myself right smack in the middle of home as I used to know it.  Most of the blogs were teeners or early 20 somethings with very elaborate blog designs.  The writing, as well, was very Pinoy — Taglish — but thankfully, with just a smattering of what I call text speak.

Glad to be among fellow-Pinoys!

I’ve been trying to access my blog all afternoon but all I get is a white page with two words: Bandwidth Exceeded.  Now, I know what that means but I don’t know if I ought to start deleting pictures (and I did delete an album of postcards from my Pinay FrancoPhile blog.  Could it be because I tried to create a third blog, Motherhood,etc., which, after I started getting this bandwidth message bit, I decided to create a whole new account for.  *SIGH*

WHAT HAPPENED?!!  Was I over-eager to create that third blog and had undone my account in the process?  I know, I know.. I just have to be patient and keep my cool and in time, it should be up and running again.

Patience is not one of my bestfriends, unfortunately, so let me rant here.

With MOTHERHOOD being such a focal point of my life, I thought it deserved a blog all it’s own so here goes.  I will try and “transplant” my previous posts on Motherhood from my main blog to this one.. so watch out for that.