Pinay Mom on Motherhood, Etc.

Even when Angel was a small baby, I would encourage others to hold him and carry him — although most single folks I invited to do that were wary of dropping him or of carrying him wrongly and injuring him.  I kept assuring them he is not going to break and he’ll be just fine.  My sister, in particular, was very cautious at first, until she spent two months with me trying to help me with my childcare issues.

The daycare center just called to say he had hit the shelf and there is a mark on his ear — he seems to be fine and he didn’t hit his head or anything, but they wanted to give me the heads up.  The boy is just unstoppable — I am no longer surprised by such incidents which we get almost on a daily basis now that father and son are staying home together through most of the week.  (At least until my Mom returns second week of October.)

When he started moving about, I realized he wouldn’t learn how something can cause him pain until he actually does it — like falling down, climbing down the furniture a certain way, or just charging nonchallantly into solid objects in our house.  As a result, he knows how to climb down the sofa now, he has a good sense of what is hard and soft hence he is more careful about where he lands or hits his head and he knows how to avoid a bad fall.

It’s all part and parcel of learning to let go.  He will not be able to explore his little world if Alan and I are there at every turn ready to catch him.  I want him to learn how to take chances, how to temper his enthusiasm with caution, and at the same time, I want to be there to help him along the road without getting in the way.

I left him in daycare with another toddler who was a year and 11 months, and it came as no surprise that my little tyke who was a year and 4 was just as big as that blonde boy.  He’s doing fine.. and we haven’t heard from the pediatrician, so I can only guess that everything went well.

We put Angel back in daycare today just so Alan can show up in the office even just this day.  He was good in the car but started acting up once he realized where we were.  He looked at me pleadingly and started to cry as we entered the elevator leading to the childcare center, and he was very clingy even if there were some familiar faces in the small group of kids there this Friday.

He’s grown so much since we first put him in daycare — he actually knows now where we are when we are there.  My Mom will definitely be surprised to see how he’s grown so much in the past few months, and to think she’s only been gone 5 months in all.

I hope they don’t have a tough time adjusting.  Angel will certainly get his way with his Lola anew more so now that he has all these tricks and antics.  I’m sure she misses him terribly.  I miss my Mom, too. =)

Picture taken with my camera phone just about noon, Sept. 27, 2005

Pictures taken during one of the days we braved UN Week in Manhattan to bring Angel to daycare (Week of September 19-23, 20005)

Angel usually wakes me up in the morning as he nurses, so I knew right away he was warmer than usual as I cradled him in bed.  I got a reading of 37.1 degrees Celsius (which is rather high considering his body temperature is always between 35-36 degrees).  I fed him breakfast, let him play around, gave him some cold medicine because his nose was running again.  Then he fell asleep and I let him take his morning nap.

I took his temperature immediately after he woke up almost 2 hours later — it was rather alarming to see him register at over 38 degrees.  I gave him a cold sponge bath, an alcohol rub down and changed him, gave him Pediacare for fever and we had lunch.

He didn’t seem weaker or lethargic at all — he was his normal self and his appetite was certainly as it has always been.  He finished lunch including his fruit tub, and his nose wasn’t running anymore, but his head still felt warm.  I don’t normally get alarmed when he feels warmer but his temperature has never gone up to 38 degrees.

I wonder if he’s feeling any pain like perhaps a head ache or heaviness in the head — but he has been up and about playing so I guess he’s okay.  He’s singing and blabbing again — definitely a good sign.  We just opted to stay home so he could rest — anything for this boy of ours.

Cross posted on Pinay New Yorker

Today was one of the days I’m grateful I’m a New Yorker.  We had to take Angel to have a CT scan due to macrocephaly, or the fact that he has a big head.  It really doesn’t look all that different from most kids, but pediatricians here monitor the circumference of the head of an infant from birth onwards to make sure growth milestones are met and that any deviation from the norm is caught early.  We have a graph that the doctor plots every third-month visit, monitoring his height, weight and head circumference.

While he has displayed no symptoms of any abnormalities whatsoever, the fact that he remains in the 95 percentile growth rate made it prudent for us to consider a non-invasive test to give us a peak into his head.

I made the phone appointment as recommended by my pediatrician, and within one week from the date I called, I received actual correspondence by mail confirming his appointment and giving us instructions in terms of preparing Angel for the procedure.  As he is a 16-month-old we could not expect to hold still even for just 5 minutes, we had to resort to sedation which meant he was to take no more solids after midnight the day before, no more non-clear liquids after 6AM, and totally nothing by mouth by 8AM.  We also received a form to be filled up by our pediatrician who was to do a physical examination of Angel no earlier than 3 days before the date of the CT scan.  (If I were in Manila, I would’ve had to get clearance from my health care provider if the procedure were covered, physically make the appointment at the clinic or center where it is to be done, be ready with cash for any portion of the fee I am to pay for.)

While it was an emotional tug-o-war beginning at 5:30AM when I stopped nursing Angel, then after his last drink of apple juice just before 8AM, everything went smoothly and I am more than happy at the way the hospital staff not only took care of my son, but of his parents’ well being as well.

I think they were more worried about me getting anxious after I saw the nurse and anesthesiologist holding down my son as they made him inhale something to knock him out before they put him under complete sedation — but I assured them I was fine.

Alan was more together than I was, but I think I held out pretty well.  I couldn’t help but worry and hope that they find nothing.  That our assumption that all is well will hold after they see the images of his brain. 

Not only was I grateful I was in one of the most medically advanced cities in the world, but I was grateful I had access to the best medical care — both preventive and curative — for me and my family.  If I were in Manila, even if money was not an issue, the quality of care would be.  I would probably be able to afford the best for my son, but I shudder to think of those who are forced to do without because they are not employed with appropriate health care coverage.

Angel went through it just fine.  He never even seemed to have gotten any weaker with the fasting.  He was up and about as soon as the anesthesia started to wean off, and now he is sleeping soundly on his sofabed, dead tired only because we were up by 5:30AM which is way too early even for an early riser like him.

Taken in Sesame Place August 27, 2005 while watching Big Bird’s Beach Party

Pictures taken at the mall yesterday, September 18, 2005

There are good days and bad days, and this weekend was a good one.  Angel was cooperative, he didn’t demand to be carried and I think he’s getting used to his stroller indoors or outdoors. 

We’ve been trying to enjoy what’s left of the warm days now that fall is here.  Soon, I’ll have to start picking out warm clothing he can wear for the colder months ahead.  His jogging pants from last winter no longer fit and will now be in my Mom’s charity bin, (we save it to give to the children in the predominantly poor community my Mom grew up in in Bulan, Sorsogon.)  And I discovered that Target has cheaper alternatives from HANES which sell for $4.99 per pair only.  (OLD NAVY, my brand of choice last year, sold for $8.00 a pair).  I have stocked up on t-shirts which are a size bigger so he will be comfy at home, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed his thermals will still fit.  If not, we can always get some new ones.

He’s home with Alan all week.  Tomorrow, we’re scheduled to do his CT Scan.  Despite a slight cold, it looks like he’ll be fine.  (Keeping my fingers crossed.)  He’s allowed to drink milk until 5AM, and clear fluids only until 8AM.  Then we have to be creative about keeping him preoccupied until we get to the hospital by noon.

I hate putting him through this but I’d rather be sure he’s doing okay rather than leave it to chance. After watching the premier episode of HOUSE, a favorite TV show of Alan’s and mine which featured a 9 year old cancer stricken patient, I cannot help but feel all the more concerned about taking care of Angel’s health and well being.

I’d be the first to crumble and fall if he were struck by some grave illness.  We have been lucky that he is growing up healthy and the breastfeeding seems to have paid off.  He is just so precious!

Photo taken August 14, 2005 at a friend’s home in New Jersey

I am with Angel every day and sleep and wake up with him beside me, but each day still sees me marvelling at how fast and how much he has grown.  A real toddler who prances and runs all around the place, and an individual surfacing with his own moods and charm.  Even if he is only all of a year and four months at this time, he seems to have a way of absorbing things and he is beginning to assert his own individuality. 

It can be a test of wills, though, as we try to show him what is acceptable and what cannot be.  It may seem cute to watch him trying to argue with us, but this early, we are trying to tell him that is not acceptable between us and him.

On Thursday he’s scheduled to have a CT scan done.  We have been requested to have him undergo a physical this evening (no later than three days prior to the procedure), and I received detailed instructions about NOT giving him anything solid after midnight the day before, and only clear liquids between 5 to 7AM.  That will be a struggle considering he isn’t supposed to go to the hospital until 12NN for the 1PM procedure.  They had a note for us to bring his drink of choice and a favorite cup — I know the first thing he will ask for is to nurse.

Thinking about him undergoing this really breaks my heart, but it is necessary for us to rule out any abnormality in the continuing growth of his head.  While it could be that we just have bigger heads than normal (the pediatrician did measure Alan’s head and found the circumference to be bigger than usual for his height), we just want to rule out anything serious.  If I could take the test for him I would, but this has to be done.

These days, we see Angel’s personality emerging, and though he is such a darling and remains to be the apple of our eye, little quirks are beginning to show that sometimes makes us wonder if we should start disciplining him more strictly.  At 16 months, he now knows how to get angry when he doesn’t get what he wants.  I guess in a sense he is mimmicking us when we scold him — he probably think that since we scold him, he can scold us back.  The child has no sense yet of the heirarchy in a family and that there are parental prerogatives he doesn’t have.  (How am I supposed to expect him to process “I can scold you but you cannot scold me.”)

Sometimes I make a joke of saying this is parenthood and not a democracy.  LOL

I just want to curb his temper early on before it becomes part and parcel of his make up.  Sometimes Alan and I lose our patience and he looks at us with that innocent pout as if asking what it was he did wrong.  It’s just a very fragile situation and I hope I’m doing it right.  Some things are difficult to undo once his ways are set, and now is the time to get him on the right track.